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Jul 11, 2008

How Do We Live Without You

Did You Think to Pray ?

1. Ere you left your room this morning,
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ, our Savior,
Did you sue for loving favor
As a shield today?

Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don’t forget to pray.

2. When your heart was filled with anger,
Did you think to pray?
Did you plead for grace, my brother,
That you might forgive another
Who had crossed your way?

3. When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?


Mary A. Pepper Kidder

Last Monday I received the worst news I could ever imagine, it simply crushed me and plummeted my world to the lowest of lows, sadly, my father died.......Thank God above, it was while he was sleeping, he never felt any pain. That makes it easier, kind of, but it still hurts to no end. Knowing I can never call him again hurts my heart tremendously. I called him often, every two or three days. There were times when I was very upset with him if any of you have read the stories on This Blog Of Mine, you'd know that. But I still loved him tremendously and am very proud of him as my father .

There are so many memories of him, more good memories than bad memories. But all in all there were times we didn't see eye to eye. I'm glad I've always told him I loved him and always told him, "Dad I love you with all of my heart," wanting him to picture that every time my heart beat it beat with love for him. I know some of you may think this is a little mushy but it's the way I feel. The hardest thing I will ever do in my life is learn to live without himwell I'll never learn to live without him unfortunately I have to live without him but He'll always be in my house of memories you can bank on that. never hearing him laugh or whistle again or watch the smile grow on his face when I'd tell him a good joke .

My sister Brenda received the phone call when dad passed away. The panic attacks I endure at times of high stress are pretty scary, so needless to say Brenda didn't want me getting the news about dad until she'd be home to tell me. She knew I'd freak out as I did as soon as she walked in the front door. I knew something was wrong, "Why are you here Brenda" ? "Why are you home so soon is it Robert"? She shook her head and tears started running down her face...I knew it was dad. I couldn't bare it for several minutes I remember dad telling me he was tired of living in a wheelchair and having to depend on others to care for and clean up after him. It saddened and embarrassed him that he could know longer take care of his personal needs without help .

I began thinking he's better off now, he's no longer in pain and he never felt any pain when he passed, he suffered a massive blood clot to the brain and it was immediate death from the way the doctor explained it to us. Brenda and I loaded up what We needed and left for Oregon at eleven thirty Monday night. We pulled into Mercy Hospital Tuesday afternoon. As we traveled to Oregon I couldn't help but think of dad, the fact that We'd never see or hear from him again, We'd never go fishing or We'd never sit out on the patio or porch and whistle to the tunes he so loved. I cried like a four year old child who lost his favorite bedtime teddy bear but one thing we'll always have and that is our memories, memories that will last as long as we all live.

How Do We Live Without You

How do we live without you,as you'll no longer be with us at home.
How do we sit and talk with you as you'll no longer answer the phone.
How do we sit out side with you as you whistle your sad sad songs we'll always remember you whistling to Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline, and George Jones. How do we live without you as you'll nolonger greet us at the door. How do we live without you as we nolonger hear your laughter nor your voice anymore. The only thing we'll promise you is to add a link to this Blog Of Mine we'll be writing down every precious memory from deep within our hearts and our minds.

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1 comment:

Lisa said...

I'm sorry to read this Larry. My deepest sympathy for you and your family.