Three Word Wednesday
I'm not big on living with the other sex until I've known them longer than three years. Three years isn't a short period of time to get to know someone but, I need more time, and why a loft apartment? Why not my two bedroom, it's much larger than a loft apartment. As I was walking up the wooden stairs, the steps sqreached and rippled out as I stepped onto each one of them. The old "John Deere" green paint was chipping off the wooden railing itching to leave splinters in one's hand. As I landed in front of Elaine's door I noticed the numbers 213 big, bulky and thought to myself I don't like the thirteen in the number, it means for bad luck. Ive had a few things happen that particular day, the thirteenth, causing my greatest fear, Friday the thirteenth. But, it's Elaine's place, so be it. She finally answered the door and smiled brightly when she saw him there. Walking in and beginning to make sense of it all, she cut him off and said, " no, look it was my fault". He said, "well maybe move into my place, but, not yours; the two one three bothers me, just listen to it" "Shush," she said as she covered his mouth with her fingers. "We can ignore those numbers by moving."
Moon's_Designs
All rights reserved
1994 – 2010
6 comments:
Yeah, I think I'd have to move too, then again you might get away with renumbering it to 12a, like my neighbour did!
I liked the weave of this.
I heard commitment issues. lol
I love seeing the different ways people interpret three words. This has the start of something that made me want to keep reading.
I love your story but you need to watch your tense and your changes in point of view. Others far more experienced than me will laugh at me for being the one to tell you this as I have has trouble with it.
Try creating a new paragraph when you change from telling what he is thinking to actually expressing his thoughts - even if it is only going to be for one line. It will help your reader keep track.
I hope I have told you correct information and not offended you. I have appreciated the help I have gotten from others that write on these prompt sites. :)
http://www.delenemartin.com
that last line was perfect... just a shhhh is all it takes
Post a Comment