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Apr 16, 2007

Sweet Sarah



I realize that some of you have read this post before but then again there comes a time when one needs to repeat himself because the party this was written for needs a reminder.


I know it wouldn't work it's just not right me being 53 and you being 24. I thank you for all the compliments that you've given me but it just won't work. I guess you can say I've been there done that. When I was eighteen years old I left my parents house and moved to my own apartment. I had met a woman who was thirty three years older than me. I lived with her for seven years and I thought I loved her.



Soon afterward, I moved to Oxnard California with her. I started working at Channel Islands Harbor and met a beautiful girl who was the same age as I was. After visiting her for several months I began leaving early in the mornings and staying late into the evenings with my new found friend.



Nancy knew something was up because I was always gone anymore. Finally I decided it was time for Nancy and I to go our separate ways. I hurt her more than I ever thought I would she held on to me begging me to stay but I left anyway. When I first met Lori I remember thinking how different a fifty three year old woman looks when you compare them to a twenty one year old woman.



I remember being bored when I was at home with Nancy, because we didn't like the same things. You told me yesterday that you get bored here and I totally understand for that is the way it was with me. I thank god I had enough insight to know better than to go to bed with you the talk around Orchard Knolls would of been that I took advantage of you and that I was only interested in one thing and being that it didn't happen then it can't be said. I am so proud of that.



You are a beautiful girl, I will always look after you in my kind of way because your Mother asked me too. I'll still fix you dinner and take you places or you can take me. We'll still go for our drives in the country. We'll still have barbeque's at your place. I think you need to find a partner who is the same age as you invite him to come for a barbecue or maybe even a movie. Eventually maybe I'll find some one who is right for me. In time you'll find that this was the right thing for me to do. I don't mean to hurt you I would never want to do that but it simply won't work with me and you .


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1 comment:

Lisa said...

A sad and heartfelt message to someone very special to you. Thank you for once again opening up and sharing that here with us.

Love doesn't always pick or choose where it's going to strike next. It just does it's thing I guess. It's a shame that often complications and insecurities get in the way of something that could give such a spectacular heady feeling.

Why does it sometimes feel like we can never get the damn thing right??! lol